Conflict Resolution
Teaching kids how to handle conflict is an essential part of the counseling program at our school. Being able to solve conflict involves many skills like listening, respect, responsibility, problem solving, telling the truth, safety, and behavior management. Handling conflict in a healthy way is a lot for a child to do, but with the right kind of encouragement, support from peers and adults, and a few strategies, students can become successful.
Conflict in the Younger Grades
Students in kindergarten through second grade participate in classroom guidance lessons that focus on:
I-Care Rules
We Listen to Each Other
Hands are for Helping, Not Hurting
We Use I-Care Language
We Care About Each Other’s Feelings
We Are Responsible for What We Say and Do
Students in kindergarten through second grade participate in classroom guidance lessons that focus on:
- Identifying Conflict
- How Conflict Escalates
- Strategies to De-escalate Conflict
I-Care Rules
We Listen to Each Other
Hands are for Helping, Not Hurting
We Use I-Care Language
We Care About Each Other’s Feelings
We Are Responsible for What We Say and Do
Primary Conflict Guidance Lessons
Our kindergarten through second grade conflict resolution unit is made up of six lessons: one for each of the rules and one that pulls them all together. Each lesson includes discussion, role playing and practice, a read-aloud or game, and a drawing and writing activity about the lesson’s rule. The drawing/writing pages are ultimately put together in each students’ own “My I-Care Rules” Book.
Lesson One: We Listen to Each Other
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Read the book Howard B Wigglebottom Learns How to Listen by Howard Binkow and discuss the kind of listener the rabbbit is in the book. There is also a song that goes along with the book that you can listen to and watch here: Song
Lesson Two: Hands are for Helping, Not Hurting
Read the book Hands Are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi. Discuss ways that kids can use their hands in more positive manners, such as working on activities and helping others.
Lesson Three: We Use I-Care Language
I-messages help us communicate our feelings about our needs and wants while at the same time being respectful and mindful of others feelings, needs, and wants. It's a great tool for moving beyond emotions surrounding a conflict and getting to the heart of the conflict itself. A printable and more information may be found here.
Watch this video of The Olive Branch and invite students to role play how the two characters could work out their differences using I-messages.
Watch this video of The Olive Branch and invite students to role play how the two characters could work out their differences using I-messages.
Lesson Four: We Care About Each Others Feelings
Primary students have a natural tendency to be more egocentric than their older peers, and as such, need to be taught to consider not just their own feelings, but the feelings of others as well. In lesson four we explore or feelings by reading the book, On Monday When It Rained by Cherryl Kachenmeister. After a brief class discussion, students work in small groups to complete the feelings activity found here.
Lesson Five: We Are Responsible for What we Say and Do
There are so many things to be said that go along with this lesson. Depending upon the needs of the students, this lesson my be broken down into smaller parts or parts of the lesson may be omitted. Each year classroom dynamics are different so it is important to base the lesson upon the needs of the students.
This lesson will tie back in to the I-messages, but will also incorporate the use of circle time for conflict mediation.
Begin the lesson by watching this Dr. Seuss video, The Zax, about two characters who refuse to work things out. There are times that people are not willing to budge, compromise, or find another solution to a problem. When people insist on acting stubborn and childish, it causes a standstill. Nothing gets better. The world still goes on, yet the individuals involved experience frustration instead of harmony.
This lesson will tie back in to the I-messages, but will also incorporate the use of circle time for conflict mediation.
Begin the lesson by watching this Dr. Seuss video, The Zax, about two characters who refuse to work things out. There are times that people are not willing to budge, compromise, or find another solution to a problem. When people insist on acting stubborn and childish, it causes a standstill. Nothing gets better. The world still goes on, yet the individuals involved experience frustration instead of harmony.
Have the students sit in a circle and share the guidelines for circle time. Make an anchor chart with the students. While the following is not kid friendly, it does give the premise trying to be established.
Practice using circle time with an easy subject, such as sharing a favorite food or sharing individuals that they admire. Go around the circle again and have students name qualities in a friend that they like, and end with each student sharing an example of how they can be a good friend.
Another idea that may or may not be shared during this lesson is a short interactive video on ways we deal with problems. Often, when presented with a conflict or disagreement, we respond in one of the following ways:
Check out the interactive video here and discuss with students in circle time the best way for handling conflict. |
Lesson Six: Application of the I-Care Rules
During this lesson we'll wrap up everything we have learned about conflict resolution and apply it using the following stories as springboards for discussion.
Bonus Extension Lesson: We are Bucket Fillers!
As an extension of conflict resolution, a "Bucket Filler" lesson could be a natural lead into treating others with kindness and compassion. Lots of ideas are available, but here's one: The Bucket Filling Club